awsfa

This week it is time to consider unthinkable option number three with regards to the federal budget. Previously we have discussed unthinkable option number one, do nothing and keep spending more than we bring in, and unthinkable option number two, raise taxes to make up the differences between revenues and expenditures.

Let’s revisit some of the numbers from last week shall we? In 2008 the federal government received $2.569 Trillion in revenues while racking up receipts of $3.094 Trillion. Once again, for the record, that was a deficit of $525 Trillion.

I wonder, did he scream when he opened our “gift”? The box we sent, wrapped in pretty rainbow sparkles and stuffed with Frostbite’s head – still warm after Funshine Bear sliced it off with a blade of solar energy from his belly badge. Or perhaps he just stared at it in frozen indifference, the way he had when Wish Bear had wished for Auntie Freeze to burn before our eyes, setting her ablaze until only her black bones remained.

Having a wood chips making machine on hand would make the task of tree-chopping much easier, but if such is not available, one would have to be patient cutting one piece of the tree at a time. Once one knows how to cut down a tree, this shouldn’t be too difficult. Much more difficult, though, would be disposing of the tree stump. One would need to have a stump remover, which is a special machine designed for the purpose. The trunk, the branches and the leaves are then left to dry for two days. Afterwards, one may dispose of them by burning them outside, or if one has a fireplace, better use can be made of them as firewood to heat up the house.

Make a critter-sized hole in it, tie a string to the stem, and slather the inside with peanut butter and sunflower seeds. Hang it on a sturdy branch near a window and watch the squirrels try to leap onto it.

OPicking a tree: Needles should be green and not easy to be pulled from the branches. The trunk of the tree should be sticky from sap. When you’re picking a tree, stand it upright and bounce the tree trunk on the ground. If needles fall off, it’s probably too dry to buy.

Watch at least one soccer game before arriving and have someone explain the offsides rule to you with Lego men and a soccer field drawn on a sheet of paper. After coming to terms with the intricacies of a fluid offsides line, release that death grip on the Beckham jersey and try to remember which way the home team is attacking.